Think Wink.

I am moving on in my musings on family. This post will focus more on the text of Ephesians 5, specifically that of the husband since that applies most directly to me. In this post I am just going to focus on some observations that will set up what I will say in my next post.

Before I get to these observations I want to make some opening statements. A lot of what I have to say in this series came after long and hard thinking during my mornings at UPS. But by that I mean how I want to put it down in writing, not my beliefs on these issues. My convictions have come after much meditation and study. They haven’t been carelessly formed. I must express my thanks to my fellow blogger at MassTheology for his series on Egalitarianism for getting me to challenge the traditions that were passed on to me and develop my own understanding of the roles of men and women in the church, specifically family. Also, I am going to ask some questions of Egalitarians but I am in no way demanding they answer these questions. Rather I am asking and am open to any and all answers. If an egalitarian feels compelled then comment, but do not feel forced to answer. This is just me putting my thoughts down for all to read. That said let me get to Ephesians 5:15-33.

One last opening remark. In part one of this brief series, I in no way was intimating that I was even dating anyone. I am as much a definitional bachelor as one can be. The next closest thing I could even begin to count as a date is the present I am going to give my little sister for her birthday next month. That is how single I am. No girls in my line of sight, and most definitely no children in the near (or far distant at present rate) future.

Ephesians 5:15-6:9 is one long treatise on Christian relationships within the body of Christ. It begins with the individual (5:15-18) and then moves into relationships in general (5:19-21) and then into the family (5:22-6:4) and ending with slaves and masters (6:5-9). The primary concern is how the Christian walks in this life, something seen since Ephesians 4:1. Here in 5:15ff Paul calls attention to a three-fold dichotomy by a series of imperatives: wise/unwise, foolish/understanding, drunk with wine/filled with the Spirit. In 5:19-21, Paul utilizes a series of participles to further explain the final imperative in Ephesians 5:18 and being filled by the Spirit: speak, sing, make music, always give thanks, and submit to each other. The way this works out is that Paul says that one who walks in the Spirit does what is spoken of in Ephesians 5:19-21. That’s what a Spirit-filled person does.

The preacher in me stops here to make an application. In order to properly relate to a person, especially those in the body of Christ, one must be filled with the Spirit. The Spirit plays a vital role in relationships. Take away the Spirit and the relationship sours at best, is lost at worst. Therefore we must take care to diligently seek the Spirit every day. Our ability to relate to our brothers and sisters in Christ depends upon it, whether they are family by faith or by blood. I would say that our ability to relate to those outside of the faith and the gospel is dependent upon this. We need the Spirit.

Now we come to Ephesians 5:22-33 where Paul speaks on the roles of husbands and wives. He begins with wives. If one were to look in the Greek s/he would see that there is no verb for 5:22 as it reads literally, “Wives to your own husbands as to the Lord.” We need a verb. When one looks at their English translations they see that the verb “submit” is placed there. Why? I think that the answer is found in 5:23-24 where Paul shows how the wife parallels the church, the husband parallels Christ, and that the marriage relationship mirrors Christ’s relationship with the church. Thus the verb that Paul uses there is what is used. Also 5:22 creates a nice parallel and even inclusio with 5:22 and 24. Thus submission is how a wife relates to her husband. The question is what does this look like? What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband? Does this mean the same as 5:22? I want to come back to this.

What I find interesting is that for the wife, Paul reasserts the verb “submit” but not for the husband. The verb changes from “submit” to “love.” This is not undoing 5:21 but rather is informing and explaining. He then explains that as Christ loved the church a husband should and must love his wife. Verses 5:26-33 is Paul further explaining this “love” between Christ/husband and church/wife.

Please do not miss that both roles are utterly dependent upon the Spirit for Paul. In the case of the wife, the same verb that is found in 5:21 is found in 5:24. And as I stated earlier, “submit” in 5:21 is further explaining what it means to walk in the Spirit. Thus as the church submits to Christ by the Spirit, so too the wife submits to her husband by the Spirit. Love, as the husband is commanded to have, is also only from the Spirit. Note first Ephesians 1:13-15. Paul says there that the Ephesians have received the Holy Spirit as a down payment on their eternal inheritance (1:11) and they have received that Spirit by faith in Jesus Christ. Paul then tells the Ephesians that they as a church are most noted for their love for the saints, the same word for love as in 5:25 (although in Ephesians 1:15 it is a noun and in 5:25 it is a verb). To be a Christian husband or wife one must first be walking in the Spirit. There is also Galatians 5:16-23. Paul commands us to walk in the Spirit in 5:16. The first fruit of the Spirit mentioned by Paul is love (again same word as in Ephesians 1:15; 5:25-33).

I think so many young people in the church today miss this extremely important point. This can in large part be due to the fact that the connection to walking in the Spirit. Before they should worry about who they should date/court (whatever you call it), they need to be concerned with being filled by the Spirit of God. Once that is in place, Jesus will bring along the person who should be married.

In Ephesians 5:25-27 Christ is seen as one seeking the sanctification of the church, cleansing her by the washing of the water by the word. There is a spiritual element to the love of the husband for his bride. He is to seek her purity and sanctity, to see her without blemish and stain and wrinkle. In 5:28-33 Paul speaks of the “one flesh” understanding of marriage, as originally conceived in Genesis 2:24. The husband loves his wife as his own body that he cares for and provides for. The wife, in the marriage relationship/covenant(?), has become one flesh, one body, with the husband. He must now love her like he loves his own body that he is careful to feed and care for.

Now let me take a crack at the meaning of “submission” in Ephesians 5 having looked at what a man and woman are to do in the marriage covenant. A wife is to submit to her husband as the church submits to Christ and she is to fear (ἵνα φοβῆται taken as an imperative; cf 5:33) her husband as she fears Christ (5:21). But look at what the husband does. He dies to himself and his dreams, prerogatives. He lays down the life he would have lived and now lives for her. He seeks to lead her to spiritual purity and holiness. He provides for her as he would himself, Paul mentions food specifically. There is a spiritual and physical dynamic (that would include sexual) to it. Paul says that a wife must submit to and revere such love. She is called to die to herself and embrace such love and sacrifice. She no longer lives for herself but now seeks the love that her husband offers. I am almost forced to ask why a woman would resist a Christian man who is walking in the Spirit and offers to her the love that mirrors Christ’s love for the church. Why fight that? Why resist?

Now I come back to what I mentioned in part 1 and the role of the father. If the father has been a godly father, he has been the husband that Paul speaks of in 5:25-33. He would know what to look for. he would know what questions to ask a young man seeking his daughter’s hand in marriage. The daughter wouldn’t know like a father who has been the husband would. He could see better what a young man living a life full of the Spirit than the young woman could. It is absolutely important that the father be in centrally involved in the engagement “process.” That is why I would want the father of whomever I would marry to want to give me to his daughter. That he has deemed me as one who is walking in the Spirit.

I know I have probably made some readers of this blog cringe. But I just cannot see Ephesians 5 differently. From what I have read, I remain unconvinced. If this makes me “patriarchal” and a Complementarian, then I guess I am.

Division on Baptism

Top Marvel Replacement Character

I guess I’m not a man…